I rely on people way too much

I rely on people to define the way i feel

If im with someone and theyre happy - im happy

If theyre sad, then hey, so am i

its like a massive simon says game


i dont like it.


i hate not being in control of how i feel because im such a needy person

i need reinforcement from people about who i am


i dont hate what i AM

i hate what im NOT


i guess its coming with time too,
because now its year 12 and now everyones moving away
& pretty soon ive gotta be reliant on myself
- something foreign to me

i dont want this year to end because then everything that has defined my days for the last 13 years is gone

at the end of this year,
school's gone,
the faces that familiarise my life drift away to do their own thing,
and ive gotta ACTUALLY got to get off my ass to start making a living..


i feel too young to have to make my own decisions
and
too old to still be living at home

you know those people u see everywhere but dont really make and effort to talk to?
like you know them by face?

its funny, all those people,  define my life
their faces remind me of my life right now

like walking to the bus stop every morning, there's a couple that walk to the shops every morning & we always wave to each other,
if i dont see them,
it sort of feels like my morning's missed something


as i move on, it's going to be different people that i remember my life by

..and one day its going to be me that defines someone's routine of life